


Dream of Forever

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, Of Mice & Men (Band)
Genre: Alan has social anxiety, Alternate Universe - High School, Austin is a sweetheart, F/M, Gielle is homophobic, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Phil is the bus driver, Social Anxiety, To Be Edited, and he's chill, i have no idea how to tag this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-07-03
Packaged: 2019-01-04 05:16:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12162282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: this has been orphaned due to recent allegations about shayley bourget and sexual misconduct and i will not support that or have that in my books.





	1. Friendship at it's Finest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Alan Ashby, Jaxin Hall. The best of the best friends anyone could see. They did everything together._
> 
> _Literally._
> 
> _Whether it be sleeping, eating, showering, or even going to school, one was there with the other. They were inseparable._
> 
> _Austin Carlile, he didn't have a friendship like theirs. He was the "bad-ass" of the school, but he wasn't really rude unless you got onto his bad side. It was the most difficult thing ever to get onto his bad side. But with no matter where you are, there's always at least that one person that really pisses you off._
> 
> _For Austin, there were two people. Alan Ashby and Jaxin Hall._

It was fine sunny Monday morning in Lake Forest, California. There were barely any clouds in sight, an-

"Hey, baby," a woman's voice says. I look down and see my beautiful girlfriend, Gielle. 

"Hey," I reply, setting my lips upon her forehead. "We're going to be late."

"Do we have to go, Austie?" she whines, pressing her head against my chest. I wrap my arms around her lean body.

"We've missed the past three days, babe," I whisper. The bus would be here any second.

"I know," she sighs. "I heard from Tay that there are some new kids. Two, I think."

"That's cool," I say, although I really didn't care much for new kids. They ended up beneath me anyways. Lot of 'em make me upset most of the time. I don't put effort into making friends with them.

The bus pulls up, indicating we don't have a choice to go to school or not now. 

"C'mon, Lovebirds. On the bus you go!" the bus driver, Mr. Manansala calls. I release Gielle and grab our backpacks.

"I guess we are going," she chuckles. I nod. 

"Yep," I giggle. She heads up to the bus, climbing the stairs. This gives me a great chance to admire her body. She's perfect in every way... Her curves, her beautiful flowing blonde hair that's parted at the side. I love her so much, if we were older, I'd marry her.

"Carlile, stop staring. Get on the bus," Mr. Manansalsa orders. I sigh, my face growing slightly pink. 

"Sorry, Mr. M," I say as I pass him, trekking down the aisle to sit with my perfect girlfriend. I want to call her my wife someday. Maybe that someday will be soon. I smile.

-skipping bus ride- 

The bus pulls into school as I peak Gielle on the lips. I smile at her and she returns the smile. I look into her gorgeous brown eyes.

"I love you," I whisper, my smile growing larger. 

"I love you too, babe," she whispers back, pressing her lips to mine. I smile into the kiss, wrapping my arms around her. She wraps her arms around my neck as I slip my tongue into her mouth, exploring the depths.

"GIELLE AND AUSTIN, DON'T DO THAT ON MY BUS PLEASE!" the Filipino driver yells.

"Sorry, Phil!" I holler back seconds later after breaking the kiss with Gielle. She smirks at him.

"I promise it won't happen again!" she calls.

"Liars. But just get off to class," Mr. Manansala tells us. I get up and head off the bus, Gielle following shortly behind me. 

"Bye, Phil," I say, waving him off. 

"Austin, you know you can't call me Phil," he says. I chuckle.

"Oh, right," I respond. "Sorry, Mr. Manansala." 

"It's alright, Carlile," Phil laughs. "Off to class you go. Don't miss the first hour, I heard Ms. McDougell is giving a pop quiz." I groan.

"Typical," I mutter.

"See you later, guys," he waves, closing the door. Gielle and I wave back as he drives away to wherever the buses go. That's one thing about the bus I've never known, but I don't care much for it. Therefore, I have no reason to ask.

"Gielle!" I hear Tay call. Gielle and I look over at her and smile. Tay's really nice, but she can be a little agitating. Mostly because she doesn't really ever be quiet, but she's hilarious. 

"Hey, Tay," Gielle greets her. "What's up?"

"Oh my God, you wouldn't believe it!" Tay squeals, jumping up and down, flailing her arms around. I wonder what she's fangirling about this time.

"Wouldn't believe what?" I ask, intrigued by her weird behavior.

"The two new kids, one's a ginger loser, which I may add is not so good looking. The other guy, Jaxin's his name, ugh, he's so adorable! He's from New Zealand and his accent is so perfect, I'd marry him if he'd let me," she says. I roll my eyes. Oh, Tay.

"That cute, is he? Maybe flirt with the boy," Gielle suggests. She better not be thinking about leaving me. But, yet again, were both happy with each other. Why would she? I know she loves me. 

"Where are these two?" I ask. "I wouldn't mind knowing faces to stay away from." 

"You're so mean, Austin," Tay replies, rolling her eyes. I sigh.

"Is that the ginger guy you were talking about?" I ask, nodding my head in the direction of a short, skinny guy who looks to be about fourteen. Or at least he couldn't be older than fourteen. If he was, he was really, and I mean really, short.

"Him? Yeah," Tay says. "I think his name is Alan or something, I don't know."

"I don't care for his name, I just wanted to know his face," I say. She nods. 

"Oh my God, oh my God! It's Jaxin!!" she squeaks as soon as a significantly taller blonde male walks over to the Alan boy. 

"Hm, you weren't lying," Gielle says quietly. Jealousy quickly rises in me, but I push the feeling aside. There is no need to get upset over something so little. After all, Gielle is mine and I'm her's. We're perfect together, not a single soul could deny that. 

Tay turns around, facing the two new guys, and hollers, "Hey Jaxin!" Jaxin looks at Tay and smiles, walking over. His little ginger buddy follows him. How has he not made a friend yet? This school is full of people of all types, I'm sure that there's some person for him other than this Jaxin kid, who clearly he's known for longer than just the past ten minutes. I wonder if the Alan guy is hiding something. I wonder...

"Hi, Tay," he says as soon as he arrives at us. Alan attempts to hide behind Jaxin, but I can see right through him. He does a pretty good job, but not good enough for my eyes.

Some people call me the hawk sometimes, but it's not necessarily my fault that I just so happen to notice things more often than other people. That's just me. Nothing wrong with being yourself, is there? There shouldn't be.

"Your accent is so cute," Tay chirps, smiling at him. Jaxin returns the smile, but in a friendly way.

"Thanks, Tay, was it?" he replies. Tay nods.

"In the flesh," she giggles. I roll my eyes. 

"Who's behind you?" I ask as Gielle moves over, changing her position. She stands in front of me and I wrap my arms around her waist. She places her smooth hands over mine, smiling. 

"Oh, the Ginger Princess?" Jaxin chuckles. "That's Alan." Jaxin moves over a little, showing the timid ginger.

"H-Hi," he stammers, clearly showing nervousness. He's probably not used to socializing. Not at least with popular people. Maybe in general, I'm not sure. But he seemed pretty confident and content with Jaxin. It's probably because they've known each other for a while, but I have yet to know. But for some reason, Alan doesn't seem like the other new kids that have come to this divergent school. He doesn't try to piss me off, he seems more mysterious. This kid has to be hiding something. It wouldn't surprise me, but I want to know more about him. I want to know his secret. 

"Hey, Alan," Gielle says, breaking the uncomfortable silence between us in the group. 

"I guess I should g-get um, going to class," Alan says shakily. 

"The bell hasn't rung yet," I state. 

"Well, um..." Alan trails off. As if on cue, the first bell of the day rings, indicating you have five minutes to get to your class or you're late. 

"Gotta go!" Alan speaks loudly, running off in the direction of the sophomore's building. Oh, so he probably is fifteen.

"Why is he so eager to escape from socializing?" Gielle asks, genuinely curious. I think we all are, except maybe Jaxin. He doesn't look curious, he just looks... Well, I'm not sure. There's some type of emotion on his face, but I can't put my finger on just what it is. Maybe it's just a New Zealand thing, I don't know. I'm not all that culturally informed. But I must admit, Tay is right. He's got a nice accent, it's pretty adorable. Wait, what? No, not adorable. That is certainly not the right word, not at all... Dear God Austin, your non-existent gay is showing.

"He's got social anxiety," Jaxin explains. My mouth drops slightly agape in astonishment. Social anxiety? What's this poor little ginger guy been through? Much emphasis on the 'little'.

"Oh," Tay, Gielle and I say quietly at the same time. 

"It's not my place to talk about it," he says. "I'll catch you guys later, I've got to find Al." 

"See you, Hall!" Tay calls, waving at Jaxin as he walks off to the place that Alan ran off too. Was Jaxin as young as Alan? He didn't seem so, that's for sure. 

"Hall?" Gielle questions, furrowing her eyebrows. Awe, she's so cute.

"That's his last name," Tay giggles. I roll my eyes.

"Oh Tay," I chuckle. We burst into a fit of laughter until we head off to class, going separate ways. Tay was a grade younger than Gielle and I. 

"See you guys later!" Tay hollers to Gielle and me. 

"Bye, Tay!" I yell back, waving. Tay laughs and runs off to the junior's building as Gielle and I walk our way to the senior's building, taking our sweet time. Most of the teachers here don't care if you're late, just as long as you don't skip or come halfway during class, you're good. The only teachers who cared were the ones to lurk the hallways making sure every student was in a classroom. Meaning no teachers cared. It was nice if you think about it. 

"I'll meet you at the palm trees after class," I tell Giselle as soon as we arrive at her class, Mr. Arteaga. He's pretty chill outside of school, considering he always goes to the Walmart across this bar every Saturday. Nobody knows why he does. Maybe he just likes looking at their fish, I'm not sure.

"Love you, babe," she says, wrapping her arms around my neck. I place my hands on her hips and smile.

"I love you too, hun," I whisper, brushing my lips over hers. She smiles, a hint of seductiveness lurking in her facial features.

She looks up, closes her eyes and presses her lips to mine. I close my eyes, enjoying the moment. The serene silence. The only thing that throws off this moment is the fact that we're standing in the middle of a hallway. At school. School. 

"I'll see you later," she says, breaking off the kiss. I smile at her, as she heads off into the classroom. That's a fine piece of ass.

I walk further down the hall until I find Ms. McDougell's classroom. I'm not too fond of her, but she's better than some teachers at this school. 

I walk into the classroom, to be greeted by her stern look. 

"You're late, Carlile," she says. I roll my eyes.

"Obviously," I mutter.

"Sit next to that ginger kid, that's the only open seat," she tells me. Ginger kid? She always refers to people by their last name. Wait a minute. Ginger? I look over and see that familiar face. 

Just great, I have sit next to Alan. Alan what-ever-his-last-name-is. I roll my eyes, something I've done alot today for some oddball reason, and go sit down next to the ginger. 

"'Sup?" I say.

"Uhm.. H-Hi?" he stammers. How bad is his anxiety if he can't even talk to one person? Wow, that came out harsher than I thought. 

"You and Jaxin are really good friends, aren't you?" I ask. Alan nods, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards. 

Well, that's friendship at it's finest.


	2. You Let Me Believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It was the end of the school day once again. Austin happily met up with Gielle at the palm trees, as they did after every class since they had been together (which was about two years now). It had started to rain, as Tay arrived. Moments later so did Jaxin and Alan._
> 
> _Austin had a lot to learn about the unique relationship between the two.  
> _

"It was such a perfect day, and then it just starts downpouring out of nowhere!" Tay complains, crossing her arms, pouting. I roll my eyes. 

"There's no need to be so dramatic, damn," I mutter.

"It makes life more... Interesting, I suppose is the word," explains Tay. I shake my head.

"Not when you overdo it, my friend," I say. Tay gasps, holding her hand to her chest.

"How dare you," she says, beginning to giggle moments later. That's Tay for you. She can't keep a straight face for longer than two seconds.

Jaxin joins into the laughter, and Alan seems to be moving further and further away from us every time my eyes pass over his figure. Gielle seems to notice it, too.

"Why do you think he's running off?" she asks quietly, making sure no one heard her except for me.

"I'm not sure," I answer. "I kind of want to know."

"So for once you actually aren't hating these two newbies?" she questions. I nod.

"Oddly enough, I'm intrigued by them. Alan's a ball of mystery, and Jaxin seems to be the only guy he's himself around. They have a strange friendship, and I want to know more," I explain. 

"Don't you think that's a bit nosey?" she says. I shrug.

"I suppose, but it's not like I'm going to stalk them."

"Liar," she accuses. "I know you. When you want to know somebody, you do all it takes to find out their secrets. Kind of like how Kellin and Vic were a thing. You suspected something, and you discovered something."

"I didn't out them to the school, Gielle," I say.

"I know, but you still know about them. By the way, do they even know you know?" 

"Kellin does, but I don't know if Vic does," I answer. "That doesn't matter right now. I'm just curious about Alan and Jaxin. It's like Alan is a lost puppy and all he does is avoid social interaction and follows Jaxin around everywhere." 

"I've noticed, too," she responds. I sigh.

"Hey, lovebirds, I've got to catch the bus," Tay says. My eyes widen.

"Oh shit, Tay, we're coming with you," I blab out quickly. "Phil won't wait for us."

"I still don't understand how you made friends with your bus driver, but alright," Tay laughs. I roll my eyes.

"Whatever," I say. "Let's go."

-skipping bus ride home- 

Alan was on my bus. Alan sat in front of Gielle and me's usual seat. It was the most uncomfortable bus ride I've ever had. Phil even noticed that it was that awkward. Hell, the whole entire bus felt the weariness. It was terrible. But what was the worst of it all? This boy gets off at Gielle and I's stop. Please tell me that he doesn't live in our apartment complex because if he does, I will slaughter myself. As interesting as he is, he is so socially awkward, the tension fills the entire room. I hate to be mean about it, but it's true. Besides, I never said that honesty was niceness. Where else did the term 'brutally honest' come from? 

"See you later, Phil," I say as I head off the bus, a few feet behind Gielle and Alan. Gielle always waited for me, but I'm slightly curious about what Alan would do. I mean, he obviously isn't one for social interaction, but would he really walk home? Alone? Surely he wouldn't. If he's smart he won't. Not in this neighborhood. I wonder why he moved here if he did live in this neighborhood. Considering the amount of crime and gangs around, I'm pretty disappointed living here. But it's cheap, and for a high schooler with a job as a musician, I'm getting by pretty well in my opinion. Especially for the fact that I support Gielle and me, as her job as a part-time model doesn't pay too much. I swear, it's like we're married already, just without rings and official documentation. I wonder what she'd do if I started calling her my wife. I just love her so much.

Phil waves, and gestures me to get off the bus. I chuckle and head down the few steps and bounce onto the sidewalk, my eyes were greeted with my beautiful girlfriend and Alan. Of course, he would wait. At least he's smart enough to not walk off alone and get killed or kidnapped or raped. 

Yeah, this place is that bad. 

"Alan, aren't you going home?" I ask in genuine curiosity. Unfortunately, I think my question turned out rather harsh than it was meant to be.

"I, um, I-I," he stammers, his face turning red. What's he hiding?

"It's okay, you can trust Gielle and me," I say, smiling. 

"I don't have a home," he blurts out quickly. I furrow my eyebrows and Gielle's mouth drops open.

"You're homeless?" Gielle asks, making sure that we both heard right. Alan doesn't make a move.

"Umm, s-sort of," he answers quietly. Well, I found out one thing he was hiding, but this still doesn't make much sense to me. This can't be the reason why he has anxiety. There must be more of a story behind it. 

"You can come home with us," I suggest. Alan shakes his head immediately.

"I couldn't do that," he replies softly. His voice sounds perfect. Wait, no. Not perfect, that isn't the word I'm looking for. It's... It's very scratchy and hoarse. That's what his voice is. 

"Of course you could," Gielle says. Her smile beams, the sun reflecting off of her pearly white teeth. Her smile is beautiful, so beautiful. In a few months, we'll be out of school. In a few months, there's a chance I could propose to her. But the major problem is... Would I have enough courage to marry Gielle? I want to, so badly, but I'd have such a terrible break-down if she said she wouldn't. But that isn't to worry about right now. That's for later, for when the time comes.

"U-um, o-okay," he says, finally accepting the offer. I smile at him as all three of us start to head to Gielle and me's apartment. I know we have a spare room, we'll just have to clean it out. Most of my music equipment is there, and some of Gielle's modeling outfits are in there. Hope he won't mind if some of our stuff in is there. Stuff... A thought clicks in my mind.

"Alan?" I say. Alan focuses his attention towards me.

"Y-yeah?" he stammers, fear appearing in his eyes. I hope he's not thinking I'm going to tell him that was a prank because it wasn't. I want him to stay. He needs a place, a shelter. A street is not satisfactory for that. 

"Do you have any clothes or stuff?" I ask. He nods.

"I have a suitcase that I hide in a ditch at Apartment Building 13," he answers. "I have basic needs, some canned food, and I have my guitar."

"You play guitar?" I ask. He nods.

"Yeah, but I'm not too good at it," he says. I chuckle.

"I bet you're great," I say, encouraging him to get into a happy mood. If it's one thing I don't like about people, it's when they're sad. That's the one thing I hate most. I also dislike it when people are trying to put others down. If you don't have a reason to do it, don't do it. If you put others down for the fun of it, never call yourself a fan of mine. I will hate you for eternity unless you change your ways. Some people say that people never change, but I don't necessarily believe that. I think that if you really put effort into becoming someone new, someone better than you can. It's not like 'oh once a cheater, always a cheater'. I think that sure, you could've made that mistake once, but you can change yourself to never do it again and to leave when you aren't happy. People make mistakes, and guess what? People can fix those mistakes. They won't forever ruin your future, normally. If you kill someone by accident, that could probably ruin your future, but here's the thing - Don't kill someone.

"No, I'm really not," he responds.

"Alan, stop putting yourself down," I say, stopping dead in my tracks. Alan does the same and turns to face me. Gielle furrows her eyebrows and mouths, "Should I go ahead?" 

I nod. She shows me a smile and walks on home. 

I force Alan to look me in the eye as I continue speaking. 

"Never let me hear you put yourself down, Alan," I say. "If it's one thing I hate about people, it's when they're sad. So please, be happy? Be happy, for me?" 

Alan looks down at the ground and mumbles, "I'm sorry."

"Oh, I forgot I never told you," I chuckle. "My name is Austin, Austin Carlile. And that beautiful woman there," I add, pointing at Gielle, "is Gielle, my beautiful girlfriend. Someday, I'll call her my fiancee, and after that, I'll call her my wife." I smile at the thought of marrying her. 

If only it wasn't a dream that I could believe.


	3. Well Suited Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Alan and Austin talked a bit as they walked home. Alan began to feel more comfortable around Austin, he felt as if Austin were trustworthy. Austin told Alan about his home life, how he moved out because of the circumstances. He told Alan about Gielle, and how she was perfect for him in so many ways, the way that he wanted to marry her someday._
> 
> _Little did Austin know that Alan spoke lies that easily leaked from his mouth. Alan didn't trust Austin enough to speak the truth._

"Why don't you live with your parents?" Alan asks me. My face drops immediately.

"My mom died," I reply quietly moments later. I didn't like talking about her death, it'd make me depressed for days on end. "And my father became an asshole. He took is grieving out on me." 

"Oh," Alan says, looking down at the ground. We're almost home, thankfully not killed yet. Gielle should be home already unless she's left to go to her modeling job. I think she works today, I'm not sure. I'd have to check the calendar.

"What happened?" he questions cautiously. I sigh. Here goes nothing...

_I hear my phone ringing, and I take a look to see who it is. I can't answer it because Taco Bell doesn't allow you to take phone calls during your shift, but I need to know who to call back when my shift is done. Mom. I'll have to call her back. She's a sweet, loving mother. I love her more than anybody else in the world._

_"I would like a number twelve, please," the customer orders. I nod and smile._

_"Coming right up, sir," I say, inputting the man's order into the machine. "You're number four."_

_"Thank you, sir," the man says, walking away to wait for his meal. It was a dead-end job, sure, but for a seventeen-year-old, I'm pretty sure that it's amazing I've had this job since I was fifteen. I guess it's sad, but I was a good worker. It paid enough for me to get by, helping my mom and dad out. I'd do anything to support them._

_Soon, the man's meal is ready, so I call him over._

_"Thank you," he says, smiling as he grabs his back of tacos. I smile._

_"No problem," I reply as he walks away. It was kind customers like him that I enjoyed._

_My phone rings again. It must be important if it's Mom again. I look over at my co-worker, Marie._

_"I have to take this, it's important," I tell Marie. She nods._

_"Don't take long, but I'll cover your shift for now," she says. I smile at her and head out to the parking lot, looking at the caller ID. Grandma? I answer the phone._

_"Hello?" I say, waiting for a response from my Grandma._

_"Hi, Austin, it's your mom," she speaks quickly, her voice cracking. Grandma must've been crying, but why? My mom? What's happened?_

_"Why?" I ask softly, my heart beginning to race in fear. "What's wrong? What happened?"_

_"Go to the hospital," she cries, hanging up the phone. Tears slowly run down my face as I run back into Taco Bell._

_"Marie, take me to the hospital!" I yell out, beginning to freak out. Please tell me Mom's okay, please tell me she's okay._

_"Beth, tell Jacob that Austin and I are at the hospital!" Marie calls out to another co-worker of ours, Beth. Beth nods, running off to find Jacob, our boss._

_Marie and I run out to her car, practically jumping in it._

_"What happened?" Marie asks as she speeds down the roads of Lehigh Acres, Florida._

_"I d-don't know," I sob. "My G-Grandma c-called, my m-mom's in the h-hospital."_

_"Don't worry Austin," she says. "I'm sure she'll be okay."_

_"But what if she isn't, Marie?!" I cry, burying my face into my hands. Please be strong Mom, please be strong._

_Marie pulls into Sebring Hospital and parks. I lunge out of the car as I see an ambulance pull into the emergency section. I bolt over to see them taking my mom in on the gurney. She looks so lifeless, but still as pretty as she is._

_"Sir you can't go i-"_

_"No! Please, let me see my mother!" I cry, trying to get in, but the hospital worker stops me._

_"Sir, you'll have to wait in the waiting room," he tries to tell me, but I won't listen._

_"No! You wait in the waiting room!" I holler. "Please, let me see my mom! Please!"_

_"Austin," Marie says, trying to haul me away from my mom, but I won't have it._

_"No, let me see her!" I shriek._

_"I'm sorry about him," Marie tells the worker. "He's grieving."_

_"I understand," the worker says, walking away to my mother._

_"No! Please! No!" I sob, falling to my knees. "No..."_

"That was the last time I saw her," I finish. Alan's face drops.

"I didn't mean to make you sad," he whispers. I shake my head.

"It's okay, it felt good to get it out," I reply. He nods, but his mood doesn't change.

"You sound sad," he points out. I shrug.

"I never said that it wouldn't make me sad, but it felt nice to tell someone about it," I explain. He nods slowly.

"Okay," he says, clearly not knowing what to say next. 

"This is the apartment building," I say as we arrive at Apartment Building 14, next to where Alan's suitcase is hidden. "We live on the second floor."

"Why did you leave Lehigh Acres, Florida?" Alan asks. 

"My Dad didn't like staying there, he was grieving more than me," I say. 

"Oh," he says softly. "I'm sorry." 

"There's no need to be sorry," I tell him, giving him a happy but sad smile. He returns the smile, but I can see right through it. It isn't a happy smile, but one of sadness. I wonder...

"What happened to your house?" I ask, thinking before I speak. I didn't want it to sound rude, or inconsiderate. Clearly, Alan must've gone through more than me. I mean, with my mom dying, sure, but I have a household. Alan doesn't. Something must've gone down, and not in a good way. It makes me all the more curious about this boy's life. It's strange really, I've never been curious about a boy's life. Really, the only things I've been interested in were Kellin and Vic's relationship, Gielle, and well now this boy. Alan. His friend, Jaxin, I suppose he could be added to the list, but only because he's related to Alan, obviously, in some sort of way. Not brothers, there's no way they could be brothers. If so, that'd be... Weird. Really weird.

"There isn't much to talk about it," he says. 

"There isn't?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. He shakes his head.

"Not really," he says. "It's just that I don't live there anymore for certain reasons." 

"Oh," I say. I guess that's the end of that conversation. But why wouldn't he want to tell me why he's homeless? Certainly, Jaxin would know, but it would be rude and quite inconsiderate just not using the fact that obviously, Alan doesn't want me to know. Or doesn't trust me enough to know. Maybe he just doesn't want to talk about it, I mean that's possible. Right? I mean, there are always things that people don't necessarily don't want to talk about, but people do talk about it eventually... Right? Maybe I just have to give Alan time. Time to possibly warm up to me and Gielle. One day, I will find out. One day. I want to know why he's homeless, I want to know why he's got no parents with him. I want to know his story, and I will find out.

I will pass his well-suited lies.


	4. No Really, It's Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _A week had passed since Alan was welcomed into the house of Austin and Gielle. Alan grew much closer to Austin, but still, no trust was gained from him. Gielle and Alan didn't bond as much as Austin had wished, but enough for them to slightly get along. No arguments were held, as Alan didn't want to cause any trouble._
> 
> _But today, Thursday, May 22nd, things of that peaceful nature will definitely change._

Alan, Gielle and I silently made our way to the bus stop. Gielle hadn't really taken much liking to Alan as I hoped, and Alan wasn't much for making friendships with people. Honestly, I was taken by surprise he had enough courage to make friends with me. Yet again, I was also the one who kept urging to be his friend. Alan, I'd say, was probably my best friend. That includes Tay, she's been pushed down to second. Sorry, not sorry, Tay.

"Austin, can I talk to you for a minute?" Gielle asks, moving her gaze to Alan. "Alone?" 

"Why were you being so rude, Gielle?" I question immediately. There shouldn't be a reason that Gielle is so mean and so inconsiderate to Alan. I mean, we don't know what the poor boy's been through, but surely it must've been something drastic. It had to have been. I mean, honestly, why else would he had been homeless? I still wonder so much about his past. He doesn't tell anyone anything, excluding Jaxin. I swear, Jaxin knows everything forwards and backward about the little ginger, but he won't spill. It's good, in a sense, knowing that Jaxin is a loyal friend, but yet at the same exact time, it's so aggravating. I want to know, and I'll know somehow. I just want Alan to have what he needs to have to survive. After that's been accomplished, then I want to make sure that Alan has everything that he deserves. I don't mean it in a bad concept, but Alan deserves so much better than what he's getting. 

"I'm not being rude, Aus," she says. "I want to know why we keep that fag in our apartment." 

"Gielle!" I gasp. "That's so mean, how could you call him that?! You don't call homosexual people faggots! Nor is Alan even homosexual, how could you get that from him? That sweet boy, he's as straight as a fireman's pole!" 

"Me? Mean? Austin, don't you see what's happening?" she asks. I shake my head. I can't believe that my wonderful girlfriend, the nicest of all people, would be so rude and insulting to the fourteen-year-old (yes, he's a youngster). 

"No, I don't. All I know is that you are being very vulgar towards Alan when you have no reason to," I state. Gielle sighs.

"Austin, listen to me. Alan isn't what you think he is," Gielle says. I roll my eyes.

"I don't want to hear a lie," I tell her. She laughs.

"You think I'm lying?" she says. 

"By being so rude and ignorant, I have every right to!" I protest. She laughs bitterly.

"Don't come running back to me when his queerness rubs off on you. I wouldn't be surprised," she replies, turning away. The bus is coming down the road, but I won't end the conversation on such a bad note. I can't let Gielle runoff, I love her too much to let her go. I don't want her to leave me, I never will. 

"Gielle, wait," I call. She turns back to me, shooting a deathly glare.

"What?" she snarls. I sigh, looking down at the floor.

"Don't leave me, please," I say quietly. "I'll talk to Alan, I'll-"

"Austin, stop," she says, interrupting me. I look at her, sadness filling my eyes.

"I never said I was leaving you," she begins. "But I certainly won't be coming back for you if that," she points at Alan, who is completely oblivious to the argument between Gielle and me, "doesn't come back to our apartment. I don't want it living with us. Because of him, we don't get any time alone, we don't get time to ourselves, and most of all, his insecurities and his stupid antisocial behavior really throws everything between us off. Not only will you have another mouth to feed, you'll have to deal with another living person in our apartment. You wouldn't want to spend money on him, would you?"

"I wouldn't mind helping him out, Gielle," I say. "It isn't evil to be nice to someone, especially if they're a friend." 

"We-"

"Carlile, Carlile's Girlfriend, on the bus, now!" Phil hollers, an angry look on his face. Well, more frustrated than angry. I guess that Alan already got on the bus. I hope he didn't hear Gielle, I don't want him to feel unwelcome. I sigh, turning to Phil.

"Sorry, Mr. M," I say, hauling myself onto the bus, Gielle following behind me. I spot Alan in the back, contemplating whether I should sit with him or not. I notice his blue Skullcandy earphones. He must be listening to music. That's another thing I learned about him. Whenever he's upset, he listens to music. Most of the time it's Linkin Park. Wait... When he's upset... 

Well, I know who I'm sitting with now.

I make my way down the aisle and plop down on the seat, sitting next to the young ginger boy. (Let me tell you, I got many weird looks from not sitting with Gielle). Alan realizes I'm next to him quickly, whipping his head around to look straight into my eyes.

"Why are you here?" he asks softly, hurt in his voice. No no, he must think I hate him. I swear, I don't. I don't think I could ever hate the beautif- I mean, nice, small, ginger prin- err, person. Yeah, yes, that's it. The um, nice, small ginger, person. Not prince, definitely person. Never could hate him. 

"Because you're my friend," I answer, giving him a small smile. 

"I heard what Gielle said about me," he whispers. He looks so... So....

"You look like a cat," I blurt out, covering my mouth immediately. How could I be so stupid, just to blurt out random things that come into my head! My face burns as if it were on fire. I'm such an embarrassment! 

"I like cats," Alan says quietly, moments after my odd statement. 

"I had a pet cat, before my mom passed," I respond. Alan looks at me, sympathy filling his eyes. Or.. No, it wasn't that. It wasn't sympathy. I try not to let the confusion show, but why else would that feeling show in his facial features? Why would that appear? How could it come? Is this why he was homeless? Empathy laced his expression, and I wanted to know so bad why. How could he hadn't have said anything? Surely, he must be dying inside to tell, but maybe it wasn't his mother. It could've been his father, but I recall a story he told me before (Tuesday, actually), about his father. It was recent, he said, but not too recent. Possibly a year ago, or so. I suppose it's possible for people to die within a year, (obviously), but for it to only had been a year to be homeless? That wouldn't make sense with his and Jaxin's friendship. Was the reason he left his home the same reason I fled from mine? A dead mother and an abusive father? That boy, no, he doesn't deserve that. Nobody does, not a single person deserves to be hit by their parents. Not a single living soul. But most definitely, never Alan deserved it. Never would he. 

"Austin?" Alan says, waving his hand gently in front of my gaze. Quickly, I shake my head, snapping back into reality.

"I'm sorry," I apologize in quick fashion. "I didn't mean to daze out like that."

"It's okay, Austin," Alan says, reassuring me. "Really, it's alright."

"Are you sure?" I ask. Alan nods. "You don't seem okay."

"No, really," he says. "It's fine." He gives me a small, yet slightly sad, smile. I decided not to press on it anymore. We head off the bus and into the gates of He- I mean school, we go.


	5. Oh Yeah... I Lied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The school day had ended once again, as usual for the California teens. Gielle was nowhere to be found. Austin assumed she had left early to tend to her modeling job, but he assumed wrong. Gielle's "modeling" job was the reason she wanted Alan out of the house. Alan knew her secret, he had told Jaxin, too. He wanted to spill to Austin, but he knew better than to do such a thing. There was no need to upset Austin, so why would he?_

"Hi Alan," I greeted the young ginger as I approached him. Jaxin wasn't at school today, so I decided I'd accompany him on the way to our bus. I didn't want Alan to be alone, and I wanted to know more about him. I know he hasn't told me much. I swear, he knows more about me than I know about him. I'm not sure if that's necessarily bad, but certainly, it's an interesting concept.

"Hi," he mumbles. He really doesn't like socializing with anyone except Jaxin, I still had yet to find out why. It was a little aggravating, but I didn't push it. I don't want to be invasive. That'd be bad. Really bad.

"What's wrong?" I ask, hoping I'll get some sort of answer from him. A truthful one if I'm lucky, but odds are not likely. 

"It's um, n-nothing," he stammers. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. There has to be something he's not telling me.

"You can tell me, Ash," I say. I didn't think much of the nickname that had just spilled out of my mouth. 

Alan then proceeds to tell me something, but he says it so quickly I can't understand what he meant. He then blurts out, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tell you... I just, I'm sorry." 

"Alan..." I trail off as he runs away. I sigh. What is it that he told me? Or tried to, at least. The only thing from what he said what I understood was the first word. Gielle. 

But what boggles my mind is... What about Gielle? Did he know something that I didn't know? I mean, by the way, he spoke after he blurted that sentence out to me, it sounded like he was hiding something from me. Does he hate Gielle? Did Gielle cheat on me with him? No, I don't think that would've happened. Gielle is loyal, committed. She wouldn't do that. I don't even think Alan would let her do that if she did try. But still, she's so perfect. She loves me. She wouldn't do that to me.

I head up the small staircase onto the bus, greeting Phil along the way.

"Gielle's not here, Austin," Phil says. I nod.

"She left early to attend to her job," I respond. He nods.

"Got to do what you got to do, Carlile," he chuckles. 

"Of course," I say, laughing along with him, moving to the back of the bus where Alan normally is. What I discover is that he actually isn't there. Where could the little ginger have run off too? Surely, he wouldn't be that hard to find. I mean, after all, the boy has flaming orange hair.

"Yo, Phil!" I holler from the back of the bus. Some of the freshman in the front turn around, quickly gossiping to one another about how they hadn't known about our bus driver's name. Not that I really payed attention to that, I just wanted to know where my little Ginger Princ- best friend was. Best friend, only, definitely.

"What, Carlie?!" Phil yells back, gesturing me to sit down so he can get moving. I roll my eyes and head up to the front of the bus. I look at the two freshmen who sit right behind Phil. One has a streak of blonde running through his jet black hair and the other has pink mixed with a brunette, which seems to natural, color. They seem pretty oddly punk. Normally the freshmen here are preps. Some geeky, but most of them try to pull off a 'badass' scam to earn themselves a reputation, but they end up with a pretty bad rep. These two look pretty down to Earth, which I may add is a good thing at this school. I mean, I could be wrong, but I'm quite sure that these two are freshmen. That or sophomores, but nothing more. 

"H-Hi, Austin," the one with the pink streak says. I smile but speak quickly because I know Phil is waiting. 

"Hey guys, can you possibly sit on the other side?" I ask, gesturing to the seat directly across from them. Nobody sits there, yet the two seem to enjoy this side. But I need to have a chat with Phil. I'm hoping they'll move.

"Yeah, sure," the blonde-streaked one answers. I give off another smile. 

"Thanks, guys," I say as they hop over to the other seat. 

"No problem," they both say at the same time. They seem pretty cool. They'll make friends. Maybe I'll give them a shot at being my friends, but it wouldn't be worth it. This is my last year here, I'm not keeping touch with them. 

I turn my attention to Phil.

"What's wrong, Carlile?" he asks, furrowing his eyebrows as he looks at me through the mirror. I sigh.

"Alan and Gielle," I state simply. "Did you happen to see Alan? Is he on the bus but hiding?"

"I have seen Alan," Phil answers. "But I was told not to tell you where he's gone."

"Why not?" I question. "I need to know he's safe. He has to be okay."

"That's not the topic at hand, right now," Phil says, interrupting my jumbled thoughts. "What you need to focus on is Gielle. Alan told me something about her that I'm not allowed to tell you, but I know for sure you'll find out soon enough." 

This confuses me. What secret is Gielle keeping from me? Normally she never hides anything from me, she tells me everything. I've told her everything, even the things I'm feeling. If there's one thing that is required for a relationship, it's trust. Trust is one of the two key features. The other is the commitment, and you can't really have a good, working relationship with one and not the other. 

"What'd she do, Phil?" I ask hesitantly, not sure whether I should be frightened and worried or not. 

"I told you, Austin," he repeats. "I'm not allowed to tell you."

"Tell me!" I yell. "Is she breaking up with me?! Is she leaving me, what is she playing some kind of April Fool's trick on me?!" 

"Calm down, Austin," Phil replies. I shake my head fiercely. 

"Tell me what she fucking did!" I holler. I know by now I'm getting looks on the bus. I mean, who wouldn't look at the six foot four man screaming and hollering on a bus? But for sure, they know that it's about Gielle. Anybody would know that -- If they went to this school. Which of course, everyone on this bus does go to my school, but that is an obvious factor. 

"Sorry, I can't. You'll have to get it from Alan," he says. "But there is one thing I can absolutely tell you."

"So say it," I hiss, getting very frustrated, aggravated, and impatient by the minute. Any longer now, I'd probably be legitimately fuming in rage. 

"She lied."


	6. Weapon of Mass Destruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Austin walked silently to his apartment, finding it to be vacant. There wasn't anyone there. He was frustrated, he was angered, and most of all, he was frightened and vulnerable. He didn't like to not know what his girlfriend was hiding from him. He didn't like that this was a sign of lack of trust. He didn't like that Phil and Alan knew what she was hiding. He didn't like this situation. He couldn't see a bright side to it, and he was afraid it would lead to a depression. He didn't know what he'd do without her. He didn't know what his future would be without Gielle. He wanted to marry her, but he can't be so sure of it anymore. He wanted to trust her, he really did. But this situation showed him that not every relationship ends so perfectly._
> 
> _Thing is, it certainly doesn't go the way Austin Robert Carlile had expected._

I walk back and forth in the living room, in front of the sofa. My thoughts are racing, and particularly, I'm not sure whether I'm angry, sad, or numb at this current moment of time. All I know is, I do not like this feeling. I just want to know what she's hiding. Is that too much to ask for?

I groan in frustration, plopping down onto the couch. I bury my head in my hands and continue to think. Why would she do this? Whatever she's doing, I mean. I suppose I can't necessarily judge her since I don't exactly know what action she did, or planning. But in a sense, I could be angry, couldn't I? At least upset. In a relationship, the two key factors are trust and commitment. Shouldn't she trust me?

"Why is life so difficult?!" I yell, bouncing off the couch. Anger enters my veins and flows throughout my entire body. The emotion is so strong, I feel as if I were lit on fire. That simply is how fuming I am. I hate this, I hate it so much.

"Because life isn't always fair," a familiar voice says. I shoot my head up and look over at the front door to see the little ginger that ran away from the bus earlier today. I want to talk to him about it, but I'm afraid I'll hurt him. I don't want to hurt the princes-- Ginger. I don't want to hurt the ginger. One does not simply hurt a ginger. Not just because they're claimed to have 'no soul' but because they're perfect. Wait a moment... Did I just call Alan perfect? I quickly shake my head, dismissing the thought. I don't want to think about that right now. I don't think I ever do. 

"I've come to realize that," I mutter, looking away from his glistening hazel eyes. Boy, aren't I being observant today?

"Why are you acting this way?" he asks softly, his voice quiet. I don't believe he meant it to sound rude, but unfortunately, it did. I don't take rudeness well.

"Why are you hiding Gielle's secret from me?" I retort as I approach him. He cautiously backs away, trying to avoid anything that may be behind him and, obviously, trying to stay quite a distance from me. I don't think I could blame him, and I don't want to hurt him. I don't know why I'm not stopping myself. I don't know why I'm resorting to hurting him. I don't want to hurt him. I can't hurt him. I wouldn't forgive myself. I need to control myself, I need to do it now.

"I-I don't know what y-you're talking a-about," he stammers. He's lying, and he knows I can tell. He knows that I know he's lying. I don't take lying well either, but I need to stop getting so worked up about this situation. Or at least with him in the room. I absolutely could not deal with hurting him. I'd feel so terrible, I'd feel so guilty. I have to stop, for both of us. For my peace of mind and for him to not get beat up. Especially by his friend/roommate. 

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," I reply. "Please, for my peace of mind, please just tell me." I fall onto my knees, burying my head back into my hands for about the tenth time today. Yesterday was perfect, and now today the feeling of forever is crashing down on me. What have I done to deserve such an utterly terrible thing?

"I wish I could," Alan says quietly, kneeling down next to me. He wraps his arms around me. I tense up, not used to the sudden comfort.

"Why can't you?" I whine, looking straight into his honey-colored orbs. Alan sighs, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry," he says, letting go of me. He gets up off of the floor and bolts off down the hall, slamming a door. I assume to his room, but he could've gone to the bathroom. Wait.

The bathroom.

It takes me a moment to realize that if he's in that bathroom, he could be doing so many bad things. I don't know his history, he hasn't told me much other than he normally lives where Jaxin does, but obviously, that has changed now. 

I slowly push myself off of the floor, feeling lightheaded. My vision is blurred and cloudy. I assume my eyes are just sore from crying. Or at least I hope that's what it is and not something worse.

I stumble down the hallway, nearly falling flat on my face due to my dizziness. I can't see straight, and frankly, that frightens me. A lot. I'm pretty sure that it isn't a good thing.

"A-Alan?" I slur, trying to find him. I'm sure by now that my thoughts must've just gotten to my head. I'm curious to know why all of a sudden my thoughts have gone haywire, why they've gone from depressing to angry to fear in a matter of seconds at a time. Is there something wrong with me? Or am I simply just overthinking and overreacting to something that's normal for a teenage boy. I mean puberty does these things to you... Right? 

"Alan!" I call again, my voice slightly clearer and easier to understand than previously. I continue to make my way down the hall, barging into the bathroom door. It opens quickly, and I fall onto the floor. I don't think I can feel anything anymore. I don't know whether I feel pain or whether I'm just numbed from the numerous memories running throughout my head. Maybe I'm just being delusional. I don't know what it is, and all of a sudden, I'm too tired to think about it. Maybe I was right. I must just be overthinking things. 

I struggle to crawl myself over to the toilet, my stomach rumbling. Maybe I'm just sick, and that's the reason why this is all happening. Maybe I feel worse because I'm sick. I can't escape this place. Maybe it's just all in my mind. 

"Alan," I weakly cry out, pulling myself up just a little so my mouth lays on the rip of the toilet. It's an irrelevant thought, but I'm glad I keep this bathroom tidy and extraordinarily clean. But not that would matter now, I just need to empty the contents of my stomach. And I mean right now. I don't know if my body will vomit it all away on its own. I want it to, I don't think I have the energy to shove fingers down my own throat.

"Help," I whisper hoarsely, deciding that using that energy to throw up is worth it. I take my wildly shaking hand and place it over my mouth, tears slowly rolling down my face. My mind, my thoughts, they're such a weapon of mass destruction. I don't even know what's right from wrong anymore. Or at least now I don't.

"Austin?" I hear Alan say, his voice becoming louder and louder as his footsteps approach me. I take the small amount of time I have left to shove the fingers down my throat, my urge to puke rising quickly. 

"Austin..." Alan gasps, placing his hand upon his mouth, clearly shocked by the situation. I don't know what I'm thinking, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't want to do this, but I feel such a need to. I don't even know why. I shouldn't do this, but it's too late now. The vile liquids are already beginning to erupt from my stomach, up my throat, and out into the toilet. If I could cringe at such a putrid sight, I would.

"No, no, no," Alan begins whispering to himself, rushing over to me. He takes my hand away from my mouth and lets my stomach finish its cleansing. I'm so sick.'

"Austin," he cries softly, his voice cracking. "Why would you do this?" I try to answer, try to come up with something to say. But I can't. I can't say anything. Why did I do such a thing? I don't even know, and I'm the one who did the action. I'm the one who caused this. I'm the one who's to blame for this. I'm the one who's at fault. I'm the one who should know the answer. But I don't. 

I open my mouth to try to speak, but my attempt fails. No voice exists my mouth. I have so much to say, but at the same time, I don't. I want to tell him how I feel, but how can I? I can't. That is the problem. I know I can trust him, he's never lied to me or anything. Sure he had earlier, but that wasn't a thing I was worried about. But I can't tell him my mind. He'll run for the hills, he'll never return. I need him. I don't even know why I feel such a want, such a need for the princes- Ginger. I want to know, but I don't feel strong enough to seek the answer. I feel tired, I feel weak. Most of all... I feel vulnerable. 

"I'm s-sorry," I croak hoarsely. 

"Please, tell me when something is wrong," Alan begs, tears rolling fastly down his soft, pale face. "Never let me see you hurt yourself. I never want to ever see you hurt." I nod quickly.

"I'm sorry," I sob again. "My thoughts are just a weapon of mass destruction."


	7. We've Got to Keep It Together

Alan let Austin stay the night in his room. Alan didn't want Austin to be alone. He was afraid that Austin would try to hurt himself, or worse, even possibly attempt a suicide. Alan didn't know what was happening in Austin's head as Austin refused to even give a simple clue. Alan didn't understand what Austin was going through because he had never been in a relationship. He had never had a girlfriend. The closest thing he had to a relationship was Jaxin, but they weren't gay together. Jaxin was as straight as the pole Alan's mom danced on. 

Austin didn't know a single thing going on with Alan, and unfortunately for Austin, he intended to keep it that way.

-Austin's POV- 

My eyes flutter open, and I feel warmth next to me. Immediately growing fear, I peer over to see the familiar ginger princes- Redhead. Why do I keep almost calling Alan that? There's no way I'm gay, I mean... I love Gielle. My Gielle. 

"You're awake," Alan says quietly, sitting up on the bed. I nod. 

"I don't want to be," I whisper, hoping he didn't hear me. I don't know why I said it, but I did. 

"You should be glad to be alive," Alan replies, sadness filling his sparkling orbs. "You have so much to live for, Austin."

"What is Gretta hiding from me then?" I snap. Alan furrows his eyebrows, and then only I realize that I called Gielle by her real name -- which he doesn't know. 

"Who is Gretchen?" he asks. 

"Gielle's real name is Gretta Hellevig," I answer. Alan's face switches from confusion to realization.

"Oh," he says quietly. "I should've figured that." 

"Now please tell me," I hiss.

"Tell you what?" a voice asks from the door way. My face blossoms into a fiery red color at the sight of my girlfriend, standing there in the hall, wearing simply only lingerie. My mouth drops open and Alan sighs, placing his head in his hand. I have absolutely no clue what to say.

"What you were getting Austin for his nineteenth birthday," Alan speaks, saving my ass. The only flaw of the lie is that my birthday isn't until September and currently it's June. We get out of school in one week. 

"Alright," she says, walking away. I assume to the kitchen. She's normally hungry in the morning. 

I look at Alan and see a small hint of fear sketched into his expression. Is he hiding something from me? I shouldn't be so surprised, considering he hasn't really told me anything about him. 

"What's wrong?" I ask hesitantly. I don't want to make him upset. 

"Nothing," he says. "I'm going to go."

"Where are you going?" I questoin as he gets up. He stretches his arms out, and bends backward. I assume he is stretching his back out. 

"No where that you need to be," he snaps and begins to head out of the room.

"Tell me what you're hiding," I say quickly, grabbing his arm gently before he can leave.

"I like you, okay?!" he screams, yanking his arm away from me. My mouth gapes open in a moment of surprise. Alan was... Gay? I didn't expect that. 

He runs out of the room, and slams the apartment's front door shut.

What have I just done?

-last day of school- 

Ah, the last day of school. I'm glad to be out of this thing society calls "High School". Nobody likes that place, I'm sure. I don't even think that the teachers like that place and they have to stay there for much longer than the students do. I would feel bad for them, but they can leave anytime they please.

I haven't seen Alan in the past few days, I'm starting to worry about him. Ever since he told me he had a crush on me, I've been contemplating whether I should still be his friend or not. I don't want to be gay, but at the same time I don't want to be a terrible friend. But am I even still his friend? Is he still mine? I don't want to be homosexual, I'm straight, I'm heterosexual. I always will be. I'm being so silly, I should be his friend.

But what about Gielle? Gielle doesn't know he likes me, and how would she feel about that? She doesn't want me to be gay. She loves me, and I love her. There's no way that she would let me be friends with him. She'd make fun of him because she'd be trying to help me stay straight. 

"Austin, hello? You there?" Tay yells, waving her hand in front of my face. I quickly shake my head, dismissing the following thoughts. 

"Sorry, Tay," I apologize. "I was just thinking."

"About what?" she giggles. "Anyways, it's the last day of school. My goal is to makeout with Jaxin fucking Hall!" 

"Of course," I chuckle. Always got to expect that from Tay. If she likes someone, she will do anything to get with them or find out if they like her or not. It's scary sometimes, but I have to give her credit. She's very ambitious and self-confident. Unlike Alan.

Alan. I keep thinking about him and the situation. It's like I can't get him off my mind. Everything I think about, even if it has absolutely nothing to do with him, every thought always leads to him. Alan this, Alan that, it's all about Alan in my head. It's like a song on repeat, a song that's stuck in your mind. You can't get it out, it's just there. That's what Alan is. He's there in my mind. And I can't get him out. 

"Austin, what's up with you today?" Gielle snaps, moving so she is facing me. She crosses her arms with an angered look on her face. Immediately, I feel terrible. I don't even know why. I don't know what I did to make her angry in the first place. 

"You keep staring off into space!" she yells. "You keep ignoring Tay and I, and you keep muttering something about the ginger faggot!" 

"He isn't a faggot," I lie. He is, technically, because he is gay, but that doesn't mean it isn't necessarily a nice thing to call someone. 

"Yes he is, Austin," she replies hastily. "I know he likes you, I can see it in his eyes." 

"How can you tell someone likes another by the look in their eyes?" I question. I never understood how people could claim the way someone looks at another is how they feel for that person. 

"How could I ever love you?" Gielle snarls. "You're a twit, a dimwit, a dumbshit! How can you not see the look in his eyes, Austin? How could you not? Are you this blind to see?"

"He couldn't love me," I state. "He doesn't even like me!" 

"Cut the bullshit, Carlile," she hisses. "You know he loves you."

"But why would you attack me with your words if he's the one who loves me? Gielle, you know I love you with all my heart," I say.

"I'm sorry, Austie," she sighs. "I'm just overreacting. I don't want to lose you to him."

"You won't, Gielle," I whisper. "Because I love you." 

I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into a hug. I press my lips to her forehead and smile. I'm scared to say what I'm about to, but before I can make up my mind whether I should ask her or not, the question comes out anyways.

"Gretta Hellevig, will you marry me?"


	8. Is This Time Consuming?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Austin didn't know that Alan had heard the argument between him and Gielle. Austin didn't know that Alan had heard him pop the question. Austin didn't know how hurt Alan was. Austin didn't know that Alan created a plan. Austin didn't know that Alan was going to leave him and Gielle. Austin didn't know that Alan was going to run away. Austin didn't know where Alan was going to go._
> 
> _And neither did Alan._

I looked at Gielle, waiting for her answer. Her mouth dropped agape.

"Yes!" she screamed, jumping into my arms. She wraps her arms around my neck as I place mine upon her waist. I smile, a stray tear flowing down my cheek.

"I love you so much," I whisper into her ear. I can feel her tears of joy soaking through my shirt, but that doesn't bother me.

"I love you too, Austie," she chimes. I hold her close to me, various students handing us looks of confusion. But they don't matter. All that matters is this. Gielle and I. She's my rock and I'm hers, we're made for each other. She's my other half, and I genuinely love her so much. I am so glad that she said yes. I would've cried for days on end if she rejected me.

"GET TO CLASS, LOVEBIRDS!" one of the school's authorities holler from the entrance of the school. That's new. 

I look over at the man and see somebody new. 

"Wha-"

"CLASS, NOW!" the man shouts, beginning to stomp over. I look quickly at Gielle, pecking her lips.

"Run," I whisper, smiling. 

"On it," she replies, giggling. I turn around, looking back at her. I nod, she nods, we both run off. That officer can't follow us both, so one of us will be able to escape while the other distracts him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just a draft i had written, i dont remember where i was going so i don't think i'm going to finish this.


	9. ...Or Am I Insecure?

Alan watched, but yet still avoided, Gielle in pure envy. He was happy that Austin was enjoying his life. He was happy that Austin was living up to his dreams. He was happy for Austin, he really was. But he gained such pure hatred for Gielle, the soon-to-be wife of the man he'd grown to have strong, strong feelings for.

In Gielle's perspective, she had grown a dislike for Alan, a hatred of the other was the only thing they had in common; other than the fact that they both deeply loved Austin Robert Carlile.

Alan knew that Gielle was a cheeky girl. Alan knew that Gielle couldn't be really marrying a man. Alan knew that staying committed was something that Gielle just couldn't do. Alan had learned much about the blonde in such a short span of knowing her, and especially for the fact that simply he always avoided her. From first sight is where the hatred stemmed, but its only gotten so much worse from there.

Poor Austin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thats the end i guess, sorry


End file.
